ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
