Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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