It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im six kinds of drunk right now
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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