The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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