I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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