Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
