I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
