You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
