What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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