i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
