i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
