this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
