Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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