You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
