at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
