Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
