Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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