GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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