Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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