do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
