he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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