Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize