it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
