I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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