Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
