oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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