hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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