I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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