how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
