Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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