she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
