Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is the high leading the old right now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
