I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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