I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
