check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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