i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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