We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
