he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
