Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
