He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
birth control should be required to get into college
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
