Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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