I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
