The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize