Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
