last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
