We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
