She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
