Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
