new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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