He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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