even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
